The Curse Of The Proud Man

"Proud men are cursed. Proud men endure the curse of never having friends; not in prosperity, because they know nobody; not in adversity, because then nobody knows them." – John Whitecross in “Anecdotes illustrative of the old testament”.(Sequel to “The Ones That Listen Are The Ones That Glisten”)

       Now, there’s a difference between having self-worth and having pride. It was explained one day to me as this. 'Good Pride' (more accurately described as self-esteem and self-worth) is akin to dignity and the other as being above or better than someone else. Today I want to talk about the bad kind of pride.
 

“A [bad pride] proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

         It is a sensitive topic to me because I think that I have a ‘healthy streak’ myself. A behaviorist would argue that it was due to the influence of my socio-cultural surroundings (my Spanish family); Freudian thought would explain it as a subconscious adoption of  perhaps repressed childhood experiences; The biological and cognitive perspective as well as Lady Gaga would say I was born that way. Maybe it’s a compilation. 

Anyways who really knows/cares, there’s your trivia for the day. Haha.

       I think to a certain extent, everybody has a bit of good and bad pride. Now that’s fine, but too much of a bad thing can start to bleed into your life (think of the river that god turned to blood. All the fish died). Consider this, how do you feel when you get told off by someone younger than you? That smartass. What happens when that ‘young pup’ becomes your boss and tells you what to do? The world says that you are justified in feeling resentful;  but it isn’t really helping you is it?

      On the flip side, your new boss might be the sweetest, generous and most well-intentioned person ever – but you wouldn’t care to know that would you?

      Let’s continue with that example shall we? Okay, so – now that you think your boss is some smart ass young pup – meaning that to one degree or another you view yourself as more deserving, experienced and/or in overall of a  higher caliber, you aren’t really interested in what this guy/girl has to say. Thoughts like, “I already knew that”, “That’s a stupid idea”, or “S/He’s so naïve” race through your head at staff meetings. In my eyes, you’re not allowing yourself to grow and learn now are you?

      So, your buddy gets along well with your new boss – That backstabber. Let’s call him JOE. Joe goes to your new boss’ wedding, rubs shoulders with important people, is HAPPY, and in due time proves himself worthy of a promotion. You are just as qualified as Joe, but your boss knows and trusts Joe more. (Getting close to people for the wrong reason is an entirely different topic; let’s assume he is well – intentioned for the sake of this example)

      5 years later: You are still drinking the crummy staff room coffee, that used to taste better when Joe drank it with you and complaining about your not-so-new boss. You feel weirdly inadequate and a bit young around Joe – so you don’t talk anymore. He kinda makes you feel bad about yourself… a sad thing is, you may never admit it, nor will you apologize for proudly cutting him out of your life. (on another note, don't underestimate the power of a good apology)

“It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.”
― John Ruskin

        Anyways, looking at this story, oh boy, have you grown up.

       So, to summarize this piece, bad pride makes you not open to ideas or input (especially if you are always right…), it deteriorates/prevents your pre-existing relationships from being lasting and meaningful, keeps you from meeting people you can learn and grow from, and inhibits your capacity for wisdom. Just this PERFECT blogger’s opinion (and her PERFECT Grandma’s too).

      Papa, knowing what I have seen about the curse of pride, please help me to be a humble servant, both to you and those around me.Help me to be a daughter who can honor you because I open my ears and keep a receptive heart. Most importantly Papa, walk with me when I have to open my heart and be vulnerable in order to do one of the hardest things; apologize, and forgive myself in order to move on changed. Amen.
 

Lots of Love, Emma xoxo

“Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.”
― Emily Brontë