Two Birds

“Prove yourselves as cautious as serpents and yet innocent as doves.”  ~Matthew10:16

I was listening to Regina Spektor’s song ‘Two birds’ and I really liked it. I found that with all of Regina’s music, I’m always figuring something out; what I’m trying to say is that I feel that through the  lyrics, she goes past the melody and certain charm to address the condition of the human soul and society as well.

Whoa now, I’m getting ahead of myself. To be honest, I’ve been wrestling with this blog post for too long. Way too long. Anyways, there are several concepts that can be discerned from ‘Two Birds’, but I think I got to the core of why it resonated with me as of late. What I want to briefly talk about today concerns self-sacrifice, and whether or not the concept of ‘rose-coloured lenses’ as well as ‘love being blind’ is really true; or is it that we’re stubborn? Lots of questions I raise in this entry (haha). Have a listen - might help you to follow along. ;)

 

   Self-sacrifice is a tricky concept because, isn’t the foundation for Christianity based on the greatest sacrifice? I mean, it goes beyond a soldier catching a grenade in order to protect a buddy, that’s amazing love, but I’m talking dying for people who hated you. I digress, but in relationships, when is it too much?    

“Two birds on a wire, one tries to fly away and the other watches him close from that wire. He says he wants to as well but he is a liar…”

   Right. When in a relationship, whether that is in a friendship, romantic relationship, or familial even, when are we taken advantage of? In an article called “Lovesickness”, the author says that “Love can turn into an illness if it becomes obsessive, if it goes beyond its proper bounds, or if the object of love is not worthy. When such a situation develops, love indeed becomes a sickness requiring a remedy”. It's not a lack of grace, it's just knowing there is a border where doing too much can become dangerous.

“I’ll believe it all, there’s nothing I won’t understand. I’ll believe it all, I won’t let go of your hand…”

   Question; do we allow ourselves to be slaves to love or do we distance ourselves from it because we are afraid of losing it? Of being hurt? Perhaps we want to be a savior of some sort. I think it's fair to say that "we all have a fear of leaving people behind"* in one way or another. Interesting, I think that perhaps in order to remain in whatever safe zone it is, we choose to overlook the little 'red flags'. You could call this 'stubborn-ness' if you will; I think it really ties into the concepts I mentioned earlier about 'rose-coloured lenses' and such.

           It seems that there is a fine line of being self-sacrificial for the sake of love and there are those who become slaves to it. I truly don’t believe that being a so-called ‘slave to love’ is really divine because it can inevitably pull you down - God lifts you up. So dare I say it; is this ‘Toxic’? As the saying goes, isn't it better to surround yourself with people you want to be like? To illustrate my point, If you are friends with people who like to be active, what are the chances that you will become active yourself? I think the same can be appled to toxicity - you will become poisoned as a result. That's not to say you shouldn't be a friend, but to what degree do you allow yourself to become influenced by them is another thing.

   I think one of my biggest weaknesses is letting go of people (especially when it gets toxic), trusting God with them, and acknowledging some sort of threshold that I should not pass. I mean, should you jump into the ocean to save a drowning man if you cannot swim either? It’s just like how the saying goes about the ‘blind leading the blind’, it can potentially lead to disaster; like… two people drowning for instance.

   So, my bottom line this time is that I think relationships and people are something I need to surrender to God every day. I believe that there’s only one life guard on my ‘proverbial ship of life’ – and it’s not me. Toxic relationships can keep you from achieving your dreams, reaching your potential, and making the impossible possible. I am further encouraged to lay them down at His feet.

Lots of Love, Emma

“A heart that is full of concern for others will be a heart that is full of love – but not a slave to love. It is an empty heart that falls stricken for any visitor who graces its doorstep.”  ~Shaykh Salman al-`Awdah

P.S. If you follow the video to Youtube, you'll find the lyrics beneath the video.

More Info & Sources

http://www.srichnoybio.co.uk/blog/life/are-other-people-holding-you-back-from-fufilling-your-dreams/

(*) thedailylove.com/are-people-around-you-holding-you-back/

7 things that hold you back from success

http://blog.self-improvement-sagg.com/2009/08/self-improvement-success/

The Underdog (*arf ! arf !)

                       

“The best revenge is massive success.” ~ Frank Sinatra

    
  I always liked those ‘comeback’ movies. You know… the ones with the less than popular or helpless character who reappears after some time has passed as successful in their relationships and jobs, is intelligent, charming, popular, and beautiful. I’m a sucker for the underdog.

       Perhaps I am so fond of underdogs because I imagine myself as one. Interesting train of thought; do I have something to prove to this world? In my heart, I know the answer is ‘’yes’’. Now, why is that? Perhaps I wanted to shake my fist at life for giving me a less than easy hand of cards and at the people who I felt had wronged me; but then again, without them, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Ecclesiastes 7:14 says that “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.” The bible also says in Matthew 5:6 that “Your flesh cannot be satisfied; only your soul can. And your soul can only be satisfied in Jesus. Isn't that one of the Beatitudes Jesus gave?”

               

                 As a child of God and a follower of Jesus, I’m to love Him with all my heart, soul and mind (Luke 10:27). It also talks about not being able to truly love God when you love the things of this Earth (Matthew 6:24).

    Dare I say it? Perhaps I’m in love with the ‘comeback’. Now there’s a tough pill to swallow; as much as I want the things I mentioned as being a part of that seemingly majestic comeback. It’s of this world, so I can expect that none of it will last, it’s not anything that gives me more merit in God’s eyes. Striving for success, physical beauty, popularity… when did I embrace being of this world when my soul is crying out to embrace the royalty that comes with being God’s child?

Today, I am resolving to shed that ‘worldly’ skin for good. It was never becoming in God’s eyes anyways.

    To tie into success, want to know something? (You are in fact reading my blog, so I'll assume that you do - haha) I am where I am and have achieved success only though His blessings, when I was able to trust God with the ‘big’ things that I was trying to tackle. He knew my heart and generously poured out his blessing and gave me my hearts cry as well as what I was really needing.

      I guess that I just needed to remind myself of that today. Now there's a weird take on that whole "Earth to [Emma]" saying (I am sooo not punny). Anyways, my comeback comes when I take away its importance and allow God to equip me to do His work, glorifying him and not me will make me popular for his purpose, emulate beauty from the inside out, and give me success from doing what was seemingly impossible to those of this world.

    Thank you God for allowing me this time of reflection. Please forgive me for worshiping the idol of 'success' and 'vanity'.  I ask that you take the seat of honor in my heart once again and every day that I squish you out of the seat made for one instead of resting upon your lap like the beloved child that I am. I promise to try and remember to rest and find peace in you. Please help me keep the promise to remain on your lap.

I’m still a sucker the underdog but I won’t surround myself with aspirations to prove something to this world. Speaking of underdogs, wasn’t the greatest one Jesus?

Lots of Love, Emma.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.  ~Josh Billings

P.S. (Fun fact: that stands for 'Post Script') Since you read so much, this is for you. ;) Mucho Thanks!

The People Who Listen Are The Ones That Glisten

"People talking without speaking, People hearing without listening, People writing songs that voices never share, and no one dare disturb the Sound of Silence"  ~Simon and Garfunkle

   
           Pushy people, that's an umbrella term to define several people but bear with me for a bit. Sure, you’ve probably met people like this: obnoxious, rude, and sometimes inconsiderate. Okay, but what happens when they zero in on you? All of a sudden, you should be doing/liking/watching/eating this and that. More often than not, they’re persistent and good at what they do, hence why your brain has tacked on a “Hello, my name is ‘Pushy’” sticker, to this person’s proverbial forehead.

             All things considered, as well meaning and loving towards you as they can sometimes be (there are people who do it because they love and care about you and there are also just people with personal agendas), often it's not a pleasant place to be 'trapped' in. (Gotcha!  **cue cackle)

I’ve been told that people are quick to point out and criticise the negative traits in others that they subconsciously wish to reject about themselves. This is called projection – according to Freud. Here's the thing, I can see the 'pusher' in me too, my opinion is not always the best one and even if it is, "Life is a long lesson in humility" (so the saying goes). This is why I'm talking about it; call it self reflection if you will.

 Anyways, what brought about this train of thought is a result of watching a brief talk given by Ernesto  Sirolli, who is a very successful entrepreneur on a site called TED TALKS. (I’ll post the video too. He’s pretty engaging). The biggest and baddest thing that stood out to me was something he said about forcing yourself on people. Here’s what he says:

“I was given a slap in the face when I read this book called Small is Beautiful by Schumacher, when he said that “Above all economic development, If people do not wish to be helped, leave them alone.”… The two principals that remain are Respect and Passion.”

He goes onto say that respect is leaving them to make their own decisions and passion, a much as you have it, the bottom line is that it is going to depend on the individual’s passion for their idea (or) to create some form of change. You can’t force a horse to drink if it doesn’t want to drink and the same goes for people in our everyday relationships.

In pseudo counselling listening exercises that I have taken part in, you MUST ask open questions and only that in order make sure you completely understand that it’s not you who makes the decision because the individual knows better than you (more often than not) about what they need. The questions just help them come to their own conclusions and bring out those subconscious needs.

So, tying it back to the ‘pushy’ people I was mentioning earlier, sometimes I think I have the answer to people’s problems, but ultimately, that doesn’t matter. The person has to want to help themselves first and if they want the help you offer, then great. I think that one must be wary of doling out unsolicited advice. I remind myself that I am not in the business of changing hearts, only God can do that.

           Ernesto said that “no one is completely successful on their own”, and that “planning is the kiss of death to entrepreneurship”. It can be the kiss of death to furthering your relationships as well if you’re not careful. It’s easier to run off on your mouth with all the things that you think they should do, or how you had that happen to in your life as well (insert long story about YOU, YOU, And YOU).

Active Listening is incredibly powerful, the proof is in the pudding (look at  how its is used  by psychologists, hairstylists, counsellors, social workers, mediators, lawyers, doctors – the list goes on).  When people started asking Ernesto how he became so successful, he said “I do something very, very difficult; I shut up and listen!”

      "Lord, the resurrection of Your Son has given us new life and renewed hope. Help us to live as new people in pursuit of the Christian ideal. Grant us wisdom to know what we must do, the will to want to do it, the courage to undertake it, the perseverance to continue to do it, and the strength to complete it." ~St Joseph People's Prayer Book

Lots of Love, Emma



Links

 Ten Tips to Effective Active Listening Skills to Improve your Relationship

http://powertochange.com/students/people/listen/

Here's the talk that Ernesto gave on TED TALKS. Enjoy!

http://www.ted.com/talks/ernesto_sirolli_want_to_help_someone_shut_up_and_listen.html

Welcome! Behind the "Little Gold Locket" & "Finding Eden" (Plus A Little Bit Of 'How-To')

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul (Psalm 143:8).”

      Naturally,there is a story behind this blog name. In most cases, isn't there always? Little gold locket... where to begin. Oh, right; I just picked one up the other day and I really like it.

       As I was mulling over potential names for this blog, I drew a connection to divine love. A locket is timeless and in a sense, always retains its power; meaning that you can still feel the love and care that went into cutting out a loved one's picture and carefully placing it within. With that said, it's precious. 

      Funny how such a tiny and sometimes ratty looking piece of jewelry can in fact be one of the most precious treasures. I truly hope this blog inspires and comforts you. 

Click the link below to find out more about the name change to " Finding Eden"
http://littlegoldlocket.blogspot.ca/2014/07/name-change-redesign-coming-soon.html


Now for some handy navigation how-to: 
 If you are looking for something in specific, note the search bar on the right hand side as well as the tags that can be found at the bottom of each post. 

As far as tags go, these will direct you to posts on this blog or blogs that I follow with similar tags. 
(Example to bring it home: Looking for posts on bravery; simply select an available tag or type in a keyword into the search bar.)

To see what blogs I follow, click 'View Profile' which can be found under my modest little bibliography. :)
(again, right hand bar)


There is an Archive:
I have veeery kindly made it so you can sort by date and see the titles of the blogs to give you a snapshot of what you would be looking at... if you are so inclined. 
(This can be found on the right hand side bar.)
 

Super Rad... right? (I was a total 'techno-weenie' before starting this blog - haha)

If you like this blog, why not leave a tip?
   
  Sharing is caring. Please pass it on to those you know who could benefit from a little dose of 'blog-lovin' or recommend to google whatever it was that you read with the little 'g+' button that is conveniently located at the bottom of each post.

     Now, if you're feeling really generous, don't hesitate to write a comment; hopefully telling me how I made you think or feel. Feedback goes a looong way... aaaaand it makes me almost irrationally happy.

Enjoy!

All my love,
Emma.