“I don’t like that man; I must get to know him better… the
best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.” ~Abraham Lincoln
I find that it is easy to play the ‘blame-game’; that is, explaining away people’s behavior as a reflection of who they are rather than as a product of their situations. In psychology, we call this the ‘Fundamental Attribution Error’. In Christian lingo, this plays a part in what ‘Amazing Grace’ is all about.
Inevitably, the time came for me to eat my words. I was put
into a position where I had to make a choice; either paint a picture of my antagonist as an inherently terrible person ‘out to get me’, or as another human being who’s
decisions were influenced by several different factors. For the sake of simplicity,
let’s call him/her Jordan.
Let me be clear, this does NOT absolve Jordan of taking
responsibility for his/her actions.
Now for where my big epiphany came in...
After lots of prayer, anger, grief, confusion, endless questions and even
fear; I came face to face with the fact that there are no bad people, just (really) bad
decisions.
So yes, good people are
capable of doing bad/hurtful things, and that in turn doesn't necessarily make them bad people. In fact, I am very capable and guilty of being the'bad person' myself.
In my experience, that concept is a really tough pill to swallow in the moment when YOU'RE the victim; but it allowed me to understand and forgive those who had hurt me terribly. I am not saying that the wounds on your heart will be instantaneously healed; forgiveness just allows those cracks and scars that you walk around with, the opportunity to start healing instead of festering.
In my experience, that concept is a really tough pill to swallow in the moment when YOU'RE the victim; but it allowed me to understand and forgive those who had hurt me terribly. I am not saying that the wounds on your heart will be instantaneously healed; forgiveness just allows those cracks and scars that you walk around with, the opportunity to start healing instead of festering.
Consider this, the skin where a scar has healed always seems to
be stronger; doesn't it?
You WILL be okay.
“He found him in the desert and in the
wasteland, a howling wilderness; He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept
him as the apple of His
eye.” -Deuteronomy 32:10 NKJV
Lots of Love,
-Emma
xoxo
