The Power of a Promise

"Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high. "I loved once" Buttercup said after a moment, "It worked out badly"." -The Princess Bride

    
   "Is this what sadness is all about? Is this what comes over us when beautiful memories shatter in hindsight because the remembered happiness fed not just on actual circumstances but on a promise that was not kept?"
 ~ Bernhard Schlink, The Reader


      I wonder if our disappointments for the most part are caused by broken promises. For Buttercup, Westley left (regardless of the reasons...I won't spoil the movie). 

        So here's my question to you; Do we fall into helpless infatuation, dare to dream big, as well as love based on dreams and (un)spoken promises? (you know... The promises that are implied, assumed, or were 'never confirmed' - yeah, the ones that are easy to wiggle out of for whatever the reason). 

      What happens when what you hope for is dashed in some way?

    Oddly enough, in order to protect myself from getting my hopes up dangerously high, I sometimes adopt the mindset that if I stubbornly chose not to believe anything - I can effectively lock my heart away for safe keeping. Sadly enough, I find I can go as far as doubting the degree of affection someone has for me. 
 (consider the saying 'taking it with a grain of salt' where I sometimes think I've forgotten to put the lid back on the shaker.
Just keep dumping on the salt, honey. Shrivel up that hopeful potential - you won't get disappointed then.)
 Arguably, all this might be worse than having my heart broken.
Consider the words of C.S. Lewis:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves 


       Holy crow, what a paradoxical life we live in. It appears that it has the nature of a double edged sword; Damned if you do and damned if you don't (pardon my French).

      God, because its no good to live in the past and fret too much about the future, I place my heart in your hands. You are the only one who never fails. Papa, you keep all your promises, so help me to follow that example even if others don't think it's important - I know that you beg to differ.

 "God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?" - Numbers 23:19

     Papa, please help me to make wise decisions and pick friends that I can trust in that very same manor. Help me to bravely continue to trust and open my heart to others even when I have been hurt; because courage is just as much about getting up and trying again when you are or have been weak, broken, and disappointed.

Lots of love, Emma xoxo

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, ..."-Psalm 91:1-16

Serendipity : A Perfectly Perfect Accident

“A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.” -C.S. Lewis, The Problem Of Pain

        

“Scientists are slowly waking up to an inconvenient truth - the universe looks suspiciously like a fix. The issue concerns the very laws of nature themselves. For 40 years, physicists and cosmologists have been quietly collecting examples of all too convenient "coincidences" and special features in the underlying laws of the universe that seem to be necessary in order for life, and hence conscious beings, to exist. Change any one of them and the consequences would be lethal. Fred Hoyle, the distinguished cosmologist, once said it was as if "a super-intellect has monkeyed with physics".

       To see the problem, imagine playing God with the cosmos. Before you is a designer machine that lets you tinker with the basics of physics. Twiddle this knob and you make all electrons a bit lighter, twiddle that one and you make gravity a bit stronger, and so on. It happens that you need to set thirty something knobs to fully describe the world about us. The crucial point is that some of those metaphorical knobs must be tuned very precisely, or the universe would be sterile.
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       Example: neutrons are just a tad heavier than protons. If it were the other way around, atoms couldn't exist, because all the protons in the universe would have decayed into neutrons shortly after the big bang. No protons, then no atomic nucleuses and no atoms. No atoms, no chemistry, no life. Like Baby Bear's porridge in the story of Goldilocks, the universe seems to be just right for life.”
― Paul Davies

I have purpose. You have purpose. He has purpose. Humor me for a second, what were the odds out of the several times conception could have occured to your parents (ew!), and the millions of combinations of sperm and egg that could have been... YOU are a miracle. That's right; YOU are a miracle.

Lots of Love, Emma xoxo

The Curse Of The Proud Man

"Proud men are cursed. Proud men endure the curse of never having friends; not in prosperity, because they know nobody; not in adversity, because then nobody knows them." – John Whitecross in “Anecdotes illustrative of the old testament”.(Sequel to “The Ones That Listen Are The Ones That Glisten”)

       Now, there’s a difference between having self-worth and having pride. It was explained one day to me as this. 'Good Pride' (more accurately described as self-esteem and self-worth) is akin to dignity and the other as being above or better than someone else. Today I want to talk about the bad kind of pride.
 

“A [bad pride] proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

         It is a sensitive topic to me because I think that I have a ‘healthy streak’ myself. A behaviorist would argue that it was due to the influence of my socio-cultural surroundings (my Spanish family); Freudian thought would explain it as a subconscious adoption of  perhaps repressed childhood experiences; The biological and cognitive perspective as well as Lady Gaga would say I was born that way. Maybe it’s a compilation. 

Anyways who really knows/cares, there’s your trivia for the day. Haha.

       I think to a certain extent, everybody has a bit of good and bad pride. Now that’s fine, but too much of a bad thing can start to bleed into your life (think of the river that god turned to blood. All the fish died). Consider this, how do you feel when you get told off by someone younger than you? That smartass. What happens when that ‘young pup’ becomes your boss and tells you what to do? The world says that you are justified in feeling resentful;  but it isn’t really helping you is it?

      On the flip side, your new boss might be the sweetest, generous and most well-intentioned person ever – but you wouldn’t care to know that would you?

      Let’s continue with that example shall we? Okay, so – now that you think your boss is some smart ass young pup – meaning that to one degree or another you view yourself as more deserving, experienced and/or in overall of a  higher caliber, you aren’t really interested in what this guy/girl has to say. Thoughts like, “I already knew that”, “That’s a stupid idea”, or “S/He’s so naïve” race through your head at staff meetings. In my eyes, you’re not allowing yourself to grow and learn now are you?

      So, your buddy gets along well with your new boss – That backstabber. Let’s call him JOE. Joe goes to your new boss’ wedding, rubs shoulders with important people, is HAPPY, and in due time proves himself worthy of a promotion. You are just as qualified as Joe, but your boss knows and trusts Joe more. (Getting close to people for the wrong reason is an entirely different topic; let’s assume he is well – intentioned for the sake of this example)

      5 years later: You are still drinking the crummy staff room coffee, that used to taste better when Joe drank it with you and complaining about your not-so-new boss. You feel weirdly inadequate and a bit young around Joe – so you don’t talk anymore. He kinda makes you feel bad about yourself… a sad thing is, you may never admit it, nor will you apologize for proudly cutting him out of your life. (on another note, don't underestimate the power of a good apology)

“It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.”
― John Ruskin

        Anyways, looking at this story, oh boy, have you grown up.

       So, to summarize this piece, bad pride makes you not open to ideas or input (especially if you are always right…), it deteriorates/prevents your pre-existing relationships from being lasting and meaningful, keeps you from meeting people you can learn and grow from, and inhibits your capacity for wisdom. Just this PERFECT blogger’s opinion (and her PERFECT Grandma’s too).

      Papa, knowing what I have seen about the curse of pride, please help me to be a humble servant, both to you and those around me.Help me to be a daughter who can honor you because I open my ears and keep a receptive heart. Most importantly Papa, walk with me when I have to open my heart and be vulnerable in order to do one of the hardest things; apologize, and forgive myself in order to move on changed. Amen.
 

Lots of Love, Emma xoxo

“Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.”
― Emily Brontë